8 Bold Ideas: Redefining Masculinity for Mental Health and Wellbeing
- Calmfidence Council
- May 16
- 4 min read
Written by: Dr. Mohita Shrivastava, Calmfidence Council Network Member
"A man must be the breadwinner."
This outdated belief still echoes through modern boardrooms and living rooms alike, whispering tales of strength, stoicism, and silence. For generations, masculinity has been boxed into rigid rules—toughness, power, and the complete denial of anything remotely ‘feminine’. But what if these very narratives are silently sabotaging men’s mental wellbeing?
The Mental Weight of Masculine Myths
Society’s deeply ingrained image of what it means to be ‘a man’ demands emotional repression. From the locker room to the boardroom, vulnerability is seen as a threat to one’s masculinity. But the cost of this silence? Isolation, anxiety, depression, and strained relationships—at work, at home, and within.
Many men are still raised to believe they must be invincible—providers who never flinch, never falter. This cultural conditioning fuels what’s often referred to as toxic masculinity—a pattern of behaviour rooted in dominance, aggression, and emotional suppression. It’s the “man up” mindset that tells boys to bury their pain and keep performing, even when they’re breaking inside.
Such internal conflict doesn’t just hurt—it harms. It creates a cycle of guilt, shame, anger, and even physical illness. Repressing emotions can trigger everything from burnout and rage to autoimmune disorders, chronic pain, and substance misuse.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
Traditional masculinity tends to follow a rulebook where men are culturally trained and socially pressured to behave in a certain way. The core tenets of ‘manliness’, according to this model, often include toughness, power, and an absolute rejection of anything deemed feminine.
These inherited expectations can create inner tension and present serious challenges to men’s mental health and their ability to express their authentic selves.
Of course, some traits associated with masculinity—like ambition, adventure, and drive—align with natural instincts and can be valuable. But when masculinity becomes rigid and performative, it risks doing more harm than good.
Where Do These Masculine Narratives Come From?
Societal expectations teach men to be strong, stoic, and self-reliant. While these may appear noble on the surface, they often discourage emotional openness. Vulnerability is perceived as weakness, and seeking support may feel like a threat to a man’s identity.
The result?
Emotional suppression, isolation, anxiety, depression, and strained relationships—both at home and in the workplace.
At its most damaging, this traditional view borders on toxic masculinity, which fosters unsafe and wounding behaviours:
Toughness: Demands men to always be strong, aggressive, and dominant
Power: Suggests worth is measured by money, status, and influence
No Femininity: Rejects emotional expression, nurturing, empathy, and even accepting help
The “man up” or “toughen up” mindset often leads to suppressed pain, guilt, shame, anger, and an absence of empathy—for oneself and others. All of which hinder genuine wellbeing and success.
Reprogramming Masculinity: Small Shifts, Big Impact
Be open to seeking help: Exhaustion, stoicism, and silent struggle are not badges of honour. Accepting support makes us feel connected, valued, and human.
Focus on your own growth: Work on your personal development without judging others who still believe in outdated masculine ideals.
Let go of the need to control: Your worth is not tied to controlling outcomes or other people’s choices.
Express emotions authentically: Recognise the cause and effect behind your feelings. Let them flow, not fester.
Practice empathy: Offer a listening ear or a supportive word to others who may be feeling the same way.
Embrace emotional intelligence: Knowing how to navigate your inner world is just as powerful as any professional skill.
Redefine strength: True resilience lies in being open, honest, and emotionally flexible—not in bottling it all up.
Build supportive communities: Surround yourself with people who value openness, respect, and authenticity. A shared space to express challenges and wins can be deeply healing.
A New Era of Masculinity
Traditional masculinity often discourages men from seeking mental health support. Emotional struggles are masked with overwork, risky behaviour, substance use, or anger.
These coping mechanisms worsen the underlying anxiety or depression, and may also lead to physical symptoms like chronic pain or fatigue.
In contrast, modern masculinity encourages a man to express what he truly feels—without shame, without apology. It welcomes emotional authenticity, values gender equality, and understands the strength in vulnerability.
When men acknowledge their feelings, seek support, and challenge old belief systems, they don’t lose power—they gain clarity, connection, and calm confidence.
By letting go of outdated ideals, we create a space where men can thrive—mentally, emotionally, and relationally.
So, if you’ve ever felt like you're carrying the weight of outdated expectations, know this: You are not alone. You are allowed to feel. And you are powerful because of your emotional depth—not despite it. It’s time to step into a masculinity that heals rather than hides. Because calm confidence is quietly unshakeable.
About the Author
Dr. Mohita Shrivastava is an award-winning internationally trained neuroscientist and
neuropsychologist, she is the founder of the Cognitome Program. She holds a Ph.D. in Neuroscience from AlIMS, New Delhi, India & completed her collaborative Ph.D. research training from Kansas University Medical Centre, Kansas, USA.
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