Written by: Dr. Mohita Shrivastava, Expert Contributor
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Having a strong sense of self is essential for navigating life’s challenges, especially in today’s highly competitive world. When we nurture a healthy sense of self-worth, it helps us stay mentally resilient, confident, and less prone to stress, anxiety, or depression. A balanced sense of self can make all the difference when facing life’s ups and downs.
However, this sense of self becomes toxic when it turns into narcissism, which can eventually develop into Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), a harmful and destructive mental health condition.
Common Traits of Narcissists
Narcissists exhibit a range of behaviours that can be damaging to those around them. Some of the key traits include:
An inflated sense of self-importance, where they are constantly preoccupied with themselves.
A lack of empathy — they are completely empathy deficient.
A relentless desire for attention and admiration.
Dependence on external validation.
A tendency towards grandiosity and arrogance.
An inability to accept even constructive criticism, reacting defensively or angrily.
Deep-seated fantasies of perfection, power, success, and superiority, often stemming from insecurity.
A belief that they are unique and special, deserving of recognition without any real achievements.
Arrogance, rudeness, and a tendency to humiliate others or disregard their feelings.
The need to dominate conversations and situations to feel superior.
An utter lack of gratitude.
Envy and jealousy, particularly when others succeed, as narcissists believe they are the most powerful and successful person in the room.
Emotional instability, frequent mood swings, and an inability to regulate their emotions, often leading to aggression and manipulation.
Strategies for Outsmarting Narcissists
If you want to outsmart a narcissist, understanding their behaviour is crucial. Here are a few strategies to protect yourself:
Disconnect from their narcissistic supply: Narcissists thrive on admiration, validation, and control. Cut off their supply by prioritising your own "me-time" instead of constantly being available to satisfy their needs.
Allow yourself time and space to heal: Healing is key to regaining your strength and gaining the upper hand. Don’t rush this process — it will empower you in the long run.
Use the Grey Rock Method: Disengage completely. Be non-reactive and unresponsive to their provocations. The more they realise they can't get a reaction out of you, the less power they will have.
Set and enforce boundaries: Make it clear what behaviour is unacceptable. If they violate your boundaries, walk away. For example: “Don’t speak to me in a disrespectful tone. I won’t continue this conversation unless we can communicate civilly.”
Don’t take the bait: Keep your composure. Narcissists thrive on conflict, so avoid giving them the emotional control they crave.
Go no contact: This is often the healthiest option to fully cut ties with a narcissist.
Don’t take them at face value: Narcissists often present a fake version of themselves. Always look beyond the surface.
Stop explaining or defending yourself: You don’t owe them an explanation for your behaviour. Protect your peace and don’t try to justify your actions.
Don’t expect loyalty: Narcissists are incapable of true loyalty. Avoid being emotionally hurt by their self-centred actions.
Narcissists are often akin to "gaslighters" and can be seen as suffering from a severe mental illness. Their inability to realistically evaluate themselves or others leads to damaged relationships with family, friends, and colleagues. It’s always someone else’s fault, which leads to broken ties and strained connections.
The poisonous mindset and behaviours of narcissists make them incapable of accepting that they are “less than perfect”. For the sake of your own mental well-being, it’s essential to set firm boundaries and limit their access to your life. As a business owner, you understand the importance of maintaining strong, healthy relationships. Protecting yourself from narcissists is not only key to personal well-being but also crucial for fostering a positive, productive work environment. By recognising the traits of narcissism and setting firm boundaries, you can safeguard your mental health, ensuring your success and growth, both personally and professionally. Stay vigilant, prioritise your peace, and remember, your worth is not dependent on anyone else’s validation.
About the Author
Dr. Mohita Shrivastava is an award-winning internationally trained neuroscientist and neuropsychologist, she is the founder of the Cognitome Program. Dr. Shrivastava holds a Ph.D. in Neuroscience from AIIMS, New Delhi, India & completed her collaborative Ph.D. research training from Kansas University Medical Centre, Kansas, USA. She holds two master’s degrees, one in Biomedical Sciences from University of Delhi and other in Applied Clinical Psychology from Annamalai University. She also holds an Advanced PG Diploma in Applied Neuropsychology from University of Bristol, United Kingdom. She has also completed a refresher skill enhancement training on "fMRI in Neuroscience Research'' organised by MGH Athinuola Martino's Centre for Brain Imaging in collaboration with Harvard University, MIT, Massachusetts, Boston, USA in 2021.
She has been involved in neuroscience and neuropsychology teaching, research, projects & outreach, cognitive skills restructuring/training and brain, mind & behaviour, guidance, counselling for more than 12 years. She has also published various research & review articles in international peer reviewed journals.
For more information visit: https://cognitomeprogram.me/
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