What is the silent storm brewing underneath? A hidden manipulation that operates like ivy on a wall, creeping quietly but weakening the structure over time. I speak of gaslighting in the business world, a cunning and corrosive force that undermines individuals, unravels teams, and upends trust.
This is not merely a case of crossed wires or harmless office banter. Gaslighting is a calculated con, a wolf in sheep’s clothing that chips away at confidence, distorts perceptions, and leaves its victims stranded in a fog of self-doubt. If we, as captains of industry, turn a blind eye, we risk steering our organisations into treacherous waters.
Gaslighting, alongside workplace bullying, is one of the most challenging interpersonal issues among colleagues. This form of deliberate psychological degradation is particularly insidious because it can be well-concealed by the perpetrator, making it initially difficult to detect and even harder to prove.
How can victims recognise whether they are being manipulated, and what truly helps against malicious influence and deception? This article provides insights into the hidden motives of gaslighters and tips on how to spot the early signs.
What is Gaslighting?
The term gaslighting originates from a 1938 film adaptation. The plot involves a married couple, where the husband dims the gaslight slightly whenever his wife leaves the room. Upon returning, she notices the dimmer light and comments on it. Her husband denies the change, insisting her perception is wrong, leading her to doubt her awareness and sanity.
This deliberate psychological manipulation serves a sinister purpose: to grant the perpetrator power and control.
While gaslighting is more commonly associated with toxic personal relationships, the behaviours and effects are equally applicable in professional settings. Victims of workplace gaslighting often begin to doubt themselves and their perceptions.
In psychology, gaslighting is defined as a form of psychological abuse. It involves a perpetrator and a victim—sometimes even a group of perpetrators. The goal is to destabilise the victim’s confidence. No tactic is off-limits: lying, deceiving, insulting, and belittling occur daily.
The manipulation aims to convince the victim that they are forgetful, incapable, or powerless. This is particularly harmful when there is already a power imbalance, such as when a superior gaslights a subordinate. The victim is often left deeply shaken and riddled with self-doubt.
Recognising Gaslighting: Typical Signs
Identifying gaslighting can be a long and difficult process for victims. A central characteristic of gaslighting is the absence of any real basis for the accusations. Gaslighting is not a battering ram; it is a dripping tap. It doesn’t roar like a lion; it whispers like a serpent. It begins innocuously, with a flicker of doubt—dismissive remarks about someone’s memory or sly insinuations about their competence. But over time, these small seeds of uncertainty take root and grow into a forest of self-doubt.
Imagine this: An employee voices a concern, only to hear, “That’s not what happened,” or “You’re overthinking it.” Bit by bit, their confidence is eroded, their reality rewritten. This is the dark art of gaslighting—a manipulation as devious as a fox in a henhouse.
There is no tangible mistake for the victim to address or rectify, as the accusations are fabricated, often meticulously planned.
Key warning signs include:
Intimidation
Unjust treatment
Exclusion
Hurtful sarcasm
Defamation
Belittling
Gaslighting differs from other forms of workplace abuse, such as bullying or dealing with a colleague’s bad temper. While other issues may stem from personality clashes or temporary irritations, gaslighting is a deliberate, calculated act of manipulation.
Gaslighting in the Business World:
In the business world, gaslighting slinks in through the cracks of communication. It is not a fleeting outburst or an occasional misstep; it is a deliberate dance of deception. Gaslighting typically occurs over weeks or months, leaving victims profoundly affected. While it doesn’t involve physical violence, its psychological toll can be severe, leading to:
Its consequences, however, are anything but subtle:
Confidence collapses: Bright sparks are dimmed, their talents wasted.
Collaboration crumbles: Teams, once tight-knit, unravel under mistrust.
Culture corrodes: The workplace becomes a pressure cooker of fear, not a crucible of creativity.
Make no mistake—gaslighting is not just a personal plight; it is a professional peril that can derail performance, dilute productivity, and decimate profits. Through repeated manipulation, victims begin to question their perception of reality, leading to insecurity, self-doubt, and feelings of helplessness.
Spotting the Hidden Manipulation
Gaslighters can act alone or as part of a group. The more individuals involved, the harder it becomes for the victim to defend themselves. When the perpetrator is a superior, the power imbalance makes the situation even more challenging.
Unmasking this hidden manipulation requires a keen eye and a sharp mind. Gaslighting cloaks itself in the guise of care or constructive criticism, but its hallmarks are as clear as a smudge on a polished mirror:
Dismissive denials: “That’s not what I said,” or “You must be imagining things.”
Subtle sabotage: Deadlines shifted, details withheld, or decisions undermined.
Deceptive deflections: Gossip spread like wildfire, or achievements downplayed.
Though gaslighting often wears a mask of reasonableness, its aim is to destabilise, discredit, and dominate.
Gaslighting thrives in environments where teams lack trust and cohesion and high levels of competition create opportunities for manipulation.
Gaslighter Behaviour
Gaslighters often operate covertly, hiding their true intentions. Their tactics may include:
Changing passwords.
Rescheduling meetings without notice.
Withholding critical information.
Spreading rumours.
Misplacing or hiding objects.
Publicly humiliating colleagues.
Sabotaging work.
The Leadership Imperative: Turning the Tide
As leaders, we hold the lantern that can illuminate the shadows. The antidote to gaslighting is not mere oversight but positive leadership—a steadfast commitment to clarity, compassion, and collaboration.
Victims of gaslighting should act swiftly to protect themselves before the manipulation takes a deeper psychological toll.
Steps for Victims
Gather evidence: Save emails, take screenshots, and document verbal exchanges.
Secure your accounts: Use strong passwords and lock your computer when away.
Seek allies: If possible, confide in colleagues for support and validation.
Consider external help: In cases where resistance is futile, a departmental or job change may be necessary.
Employer Responsibility
Employers play a crucial role in preventing gaslighting. Steps include:
Investigating complaints neutrally and thoroughly.
Supporting affected employees by reaffirming trust and working to identify perpetrators.
Promoting a positive workplace culture with open communication, mutual respect, and a healthy attitude towards mistakes.
By fostering an environment of trust and collaboration, employers can minimise the risk of gaslighting and its damaging effects.
The Shift to Positive Leadership
Positive leadership is the antidote to manipulation—the sunshine that melts the frost of doubt, the compass that restores direction. Where gaslighting sows seeds of suspicion, positive leadership plants gardens of growth.
So let us wield the tools of Positive Leadership:
Cultivate a culture of candour: Encourage open dialogue where every voice is heard, and every concern is valued.
Build bridges of trust: Make your organisation a safe harbour where authenticity thrives.
Empower through empathy: Recognise that every individual’s journey shapes their contribution.
Positive Leadership is not about papering over cracks but addressing challenges head-on, with integrity and intent. It is about being the lighthouse that guides your team through the fog, ensuring they remain steady and strong.
At its core, positive leadership is about amplifying potential. It asks us to:
Model resilience: Demonstrate that setbacks are stepping stones, not stumbling blocks.
Celebrate strengths: Shine a spotlight on contributions, however small.
Foster fellowship: Create a tapestry of teamwork where every thread matters.
Positive Leadership doesn’t just mend; it transforms. It turns workplaces into ecosystems where ideas flourish, trust blooms, and success cascades like a spring stream.
This is not mere idealism; it is sound strategy. Organisations led with positivity outperform their peers. They innovate faster, adapt better, and retain talent longer. By rooting out hidden manipulation and replacing it with positive leadership, we not only safeguard our people but also future-proof our businesses.
Let us, as leaders, be the architects of change. Let us dismantle the scaffolding of manipulation and build cathedrals of collaboration. We can replace whispers of doubt with words of encouragement, shadows of suspicion with rays of recognition.
By choosing Positive Leadership, we not only unmask hidden manipulation but also unlock the boundless potential of our people and our organisations.
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