How to Reclaim Control and Stop Compulsive Behaviour

Editorial Team
Jan 21
4 min read

Updated: Mar 19

In the modern entrepreneurial world high performance is often seen as the ultimate measure of success. However there’s a hidden challenge that many face but rarely speak about—compulsive behaviours.

Whether it’s excessive shopping, overworking, overeating, or relying on alcohol or smoking, these compulsive behaviours can feel like an escape from the pressures of life.

The truth is, behind these compulsions lies a deeper issue: there’s a Part of you that generates a feeling like it’s “not enough.” Let‘s call it Compulsive Part .

Reclaiming Control: How to Stop Compulsive Behaviour — Reclaim Control and Stop Compulsive Behaviour

This Compulsive Part emerged at a time in your life when emotional pain, uncertainty, or unmet needs felt overwhelming. Its role was to distract you from that discomfort and help you feel momentarily better.

However, what once served as a survival mechanism can become a barrier to your personal and professional growth, as these behaviours mask the real issues instead of resolving them.

Building Your Emotional Resources

The good news? This Compulsive Part is not your enemy. In fact, it holds the key to your healing and transformation. By working with it instead of against it, you can uncover the unmet needs it’s trying to address and create a new path forward—one rooted in self-love, balance, and inner strength.

This article will guide you through the Core Calmfidence® System—a four-step framework designed to help you understand and transform the Compulsive Part.

Through the pillars of Capital, Clarity, Congruence, and Choice, you’ll discover how to release the hold of these behaviours and step into your natural state of Calmfidence, where true confidence meets inner calm.

Capital: Building Your Emotional Resources

To transform compulsive behaviours, the first step is to strengthen your internal foundation. Your Compulsive Part turns to external distractions because it feels like there’s a lack of internal resources to handle emotional pain or self-doubt.

By building your inner Capital, you can begin to meet these needs in a healthier, more sustainable way.

Ask yourself, What am I really seeking when I engage in this behaviour?

Is it comfort, relief from stress, or a sense of control? Recognising these needs is the first step towards addressing them in a healthier way.

Create routines that nourish your body, mind, and soul. This could include meditation, yoga, journaling, or simply taking breaks during the day to reconnect with yourself. Remember that the Compulsive Part developed to protect you, not to harm you. Speak to yourself with kindness and understanding, especially when you feel the pull of compulsive behaviours.

Clarity: Understanding the Compulsive Part

The Compulsive Part thrives in the shadows of your awareness. To overcome its influence, you need to bring its motivations, fears, and intentions into the light. This step is about understanding why this Part was created and how it operates in your life today.

The next time you feel the urge to engage in a compulsive behaviour, pause and observe. Notice the thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations that arise.

What triggers this urge? What are you trying to avoid or soothe? Reflect on when this Compulsive Part might have first emerged in your life. Were there moments in childhood or adolescence when this behaviour provided comfort or distraction?

Understanding its origins can help you approach it with empathy. In moments of stillness, imagine speaking directly to your Compulsive Part.

Ask it, What are you trying to protect me from? What do you need from me? Listening to its answers can provide valuable insights.

Congruence: Aligning with Your True Self

Once you’ve gained clarity about your Compulsive Part, the next step is to realign your actions with your true self. Congruence means living in alignment with your core values and aspirations, rather than letting this Part dictate your choices.

Write down the values that matter most to you—such as health, authenticity, or balance. Use these as a guide when making decisions about how to spend your time and energy. Identify one small, positive habit you can incorporate into your routine that aligns with your values.

For example, if health is important, replace stress-eating with a mindful walk or a nourishing meal. Each time you make a choice that aligns with your true self, take a moment to acknowledge and celebrate it. This reinforces the behaviour and builds your confidence to keep going.s.

Choice: Empowering Yourself to Create a New Path

The Compulsive Part often operates on autopilot, leading you to act out of habit rather than intention. The final step in the Core Calmfidence® System is about reclaiming your power of Choice.

By pausing, reflecting, and choosing consciously, you can break free from the cycle of compulsive behaviours and create a life that feels truly fulfilling.

When you feel the pull of a compulsive behaviour, pause for a moment. Take a few deep breaths, ground yourself in the present, and ask: What choice will bring me closer to the life I want to create?

Close your eyes and imagine a version of yourself who is free from compulsive behaviours. What does your life look like? How do you feel?

Use this vision as motivation to make empowering choices. Change doesn’t happen overnight. Focus on taking one small, intentional step each day that moves you closer to your goals. Over time, these small actions will add up to significant transformation.

Transforming your Compulsive Part is not about fighting or suppressing it—it’s about understanding it, working with it, and choosing a new way forward.

By following the four steps of the Core Calmfidence® System, you can move beyond compulsive behaviours and create a life rooted in self-belief, balance, and authentic confidence.

Remember, the journey to Calmfidence is a process. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your progress, and trust that every step you take is bringing you closer to the life you deserve.

This is where your Psychological Capital works wonders. By learning to tune into your body’s needs and recognising the mental and emotional patterns holding you back, you can cultivate resilience, clarity, and calm from the inside out.

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