Hijacked by Worry? Four Calmfidence Steps to Regain Control

Editorial Team
Aug 12
5 min read

When your nervous system spirals into survival mode, worry takes the wheel. Here’s how emotionally intelligent leaders reset, refocus, and lead with calm—even in chaos.

In the quiet moments of life, when the world slows down, there is often a Part of us that refuses to rest. This is your inner trouble-maker, an inner voice that generates worries, anxiety, replays scenarios, questions your worth, your decisions, and your future.

Especially in turbulent times, leaders and entrepreneurs often come face to face with an inner Part of themselves that hijacks the nervous system—sending it into a state of heightened alertness and amplifying perceived threats that may never materialise.

As Dr Tara Swart, neuroscientist and author of The Source, explains: ‘The brain is primed to prioritise danger over opportunity—it’s an evolutionary safeguard. But left unchecked in the modern world, it can lead to burnout, reactive leadership, and chronic stress.’

The key lies in learning to regulate your internal state—so you can lead with calm authority, rather than be led by fear.

This worrying Part of you might seem like a life companion—always there, always vigilant. But this constant state of tension, fear, and inner restlessness takes its toll on both your mind and body.

This Part often manifests physically—a racing heart, sweaty palms, shaky hands, or an upset stomach—signs that your body is on high alert. While this response is crucial in genuine emergency situations, living in a perpetual state of anxiety is unsustainable.

The worrying Part may have served you well at some point, perhaps helping you navigate challenging situations in the past, but it is not meant to remain in charge permanently. Ignoring it could lead to burnout, health issues emotional exhaustion, or even complete shutdown.

So, how do you begin transforming this Part of you from a relentless Worry-What into a trusted ally and an inner Cheerleader?

The Core Calmfidence® System offers a four-step process to help you rewire the worrying Part and to help you reclaim your lost calm and confidence.

These four steps—Capital, Clarity, Congruence, and Choice serve as a holistic framework for achieving a balanced and empowered state of being. Let’s explore how to use this system to guide you from a place of worry to a life anchored in Calmfidence.

Capital: Tapping into Your Inner Resources

Your worrying Part thrives on a sense of scarcity—not enough time, not enough skill, not enough worth. To counter this, the first step is to recognise and cultivate your inner Capital: the strengths, skills, internal and external resources you already have.

Write down your accomplishments, no matter how small.

Reflect on moments when you overcame challenges or solved problems.

Shift your focus from what’s lacking to what you already have.

Start a gratitude journal noticing what you can be grateful for already!

Treat yourself with kindness and speak to yourself with respect.

Remind your worrying Part that it’s okay to make mistakes and that perfection is not a prerequisite for worthiness.

By recognising your internal and external resources, you give your worrying Part evidence that you are capable and equipped to handle life’s uncertainties. This step begins to shift the narrative from fear to confidence.

Clarity: Understanding Your Thoughts and Emotions

Worries often clouds your judgment, making it difficult to see situations objectively. The second step, Clarity, involves understanding the root causes of your worry and uncovering genuine concerns from irrational fears.

Take a note: what situations, thoughts, or interactions activate your worrying Part. Over time, patterns will emerge and you will start noticing the triggers.

Are they external or internal?

When a worry arises, ask yourself, “Is this thought based on fact or assumption? What evidence do I have to support it?”

Spend a few minutes each day focusing on your breath or observing your thoughts without judgment. This practice helps you stay grounded and prevents your mind from spiralling into worry.

Clarity helps you separate valid concerns from exaggerated fears. By understanding your triggers and patterns, you gain the insight needed to address anxiety with a calm and focused mind.

Congruence: Aligning Your Inner and Outer Worlds

Congruence is about harmony—ensuring that your thoughts, emotions, and actions align with your true self. If not, often, the anxious Part arises from looping worring thoughts, internal conflicts or unmet needs. Resolving these conflicts requires honesty and alignment.

Instead of suppressing or fighting the worring Part, acknowledge its presence. Speak to it kindly: “I see you’re trying to protect me. What do you need me to know?”

In addition anxiety and worries can grow when you overcommit yourself, feel overwhelmed by unrealistic amount of tasks, or try to meet everyone else’s expectations. If so, pay attention to noticing such situations, learn to say no and start prioritising your own needs.

Reflect on what truly matters to you. Are your daily actions aligned with your core values? If not, make adjustments to restore balance. By aligning your inner world with your outer actions, you reduce the tension that fuels anxiety.

Congruence allows you to move through life with integrity, inner peace and confidence.

Choice: Empowering Yourself to Decide

The final step is Choice. Your anxious or worrying Part thrives on indecision, keeping you stuck in a loop of “what if” scenarios. Breaking free requires decisive action and trust in your ability to make empowered choices.

Begin with low-stakes decisions to build your confidence. Celebrate each choice you make, no matter how minor. Imagine the best possible outcome of your decision. This positive focus can counterbalance the fear of failure. Once you’ve made a decision, act on it. Avoid second-guessing yourself by reminding your worrying Part that no choice is irreversible.

Choice is the antidote to paralysis. By taking intentional action, you reclaim your power and demonstrate to your anxious Part that you are in control and it can trust you. This is how self-trust can be restored.

The journey to healing your worrying Part is not about eradicating fear altogether. It’s about transforming it.

Fear, when acknowledged and guided, can become a source of wisdom and strength.

By following the Core Calmfidence® System—Capital, Clarity, Congruence, and Choice—you equip yourself with the tools to navigate difficult situations from the place of self-trust.

Remember, your worrying Part is not your enemy. It is simply a messenger, urging you to pay attention to areas where you have more potential to grow.